Wait

...one night inspired by ... you

Wait, please wait
let the light of the moon coming from the window be your only dress

please wait
let me have memorized the sinuous line that shapes your body
a goddess in my bed
one more second to lock in my memory the silky feeling of your skin

please one more time
let's not rush
I want to get this right
the first time
for it is new to me every time

let's not commit sin
the crime that is to cover you
let's not prevent the eyes of this simple mortal from witnessing beauty

let me be the envy of those who see our love

wait, please wait
just one second more
before you say good bye

To do list...

Hey Grey!
I was thinking earlier that maybe you and I can get together one of these days and have an adventure. We can make a list of things we would like to do like bungie jumping or baking muffins.

Museum scavenger hunt
Train ride to the coast
Foreign country on Spring
Wine tasting in Napa
Walking in the fog
Swimming in the bathtub
Reading new on a Sunday with breakfast in bed
Learn how to fix a car
Running a marathon... of Bones over the weekend
...

I cannot find a thing I wouldn't want to do with you.

Long sweet night

how can I sleep next to
something so beautiful
and just sleep

our breaths crisscross
in the only tempest of the
night

otherwise it is still
my love
my alabaster vessel
with eyes conscious
elsewhere
I hope my admiration
touch you even in
that far away
fantastic land

saw a bird alight on a leave of a tree

how I delight
in the way you love me
you do it without prompting
and it is as natural as the way you walk
effortless, weightless
as the bird I saw today

Kettle Korn, how I love thee

Amor, my days after we met are now more like kettle korns than ever!  A typical bag of these delectable things have kernels that have a mixture of salt and granular and caramelized sugar all over it.  On occasion, I get snapped out of my TV show because I had just bit into a completely caramelized one.  Oh, the crunchy goodness and I am surprised every single time.  I wish every single kernel was like that, but I guess it makes those special kernels sweeter when the rest have been working up to it.

Amor, I know that I don't have you everyday.  But when I do, you give me a toothache.

I have came back to the place where you and I can be together without restrictions. The place where we can proclaim love to one another and it is accepted, heard or just ignored but not banned. I have came back to the place where not only we are together and distance is an illusion but where we belong together.

I am here.

At last...

My Dear,

Here I was, another day at work listing to some music to keep myself company in an empty office. Here I was thinking about you when the first thing that I hear from my radio, in a beautiful voice, with infinite calm and an almost annoying effortless note ... "at last...." in the wonderful voice of Etta James.

Remember when Ella Fitzgerald brought us together one summer? We sang along (I ruined all the songs and I am not only talking about just betraying lyrics). Many songs, many words and notes that keep me sane in your absence. In the voices of great ladies Roberta Flak, Donna Summer, Billie Holliday, Dinah Washington, ...

My dear...

I crave the time when I will be at last at home with you without the rush having to go back somewhere away from you. in the mean time, my dear, This "Summer time", "I love each move you make"...

Coffee did the image, Grey did the words

I cannot withhold my excitement
Waiting for you
I can fill the room with every entertainment
And it serves no distraction
Your scent precedes you
But it is your energy that is in the air
Before our eyes meet
What is about to happen is just a draft
A simple sketch
Of feelings that will
Burst like fractals, like
One with the universe
Like purpose
Like a fresh petal falling

Like much later
you lay your head on my lap
My hand naked on you
A beauty is that

I lived near a seaport when I was little.  My uncle took me on a stroll to where cruise ships would depart.  We had missed the big cruise ship leaving the harbor that afternoon but it was a nice walk for us anyway.  I spied near the docks a tiny plastic robin egg blue container.  Delighted, I immediately picked it up and asked my uncle what it was.  He told me it was a thingy that held a long roll of confetti like paper in which a cruise ship passenger would toss it to someone on the dock saying goodbye.  The person on the dock then would hold on to it till the ship moved away and the confetti snapped.  And the more athletically inclined wavers, goodbyers, tearful left-behinders may do a little run to stay in pace with the cruise ship as long as there was land under their feet to keep the confetti tether from snapping.

Amor,

We have to see each other go often
We have to keep up our visual tether at the airport
Then you are in line
Then you are out of sight and back again
Then I see a hand reaching up to some impossible height
I knew it was you
till it is not

at all humanly possible we keep in touch
while you are behind some barriers
patrolled by uniforms
grim and polite
till my electronic robin egg blue signal snaps

In that in between space
where you are in reachless hours
my heart is the athlete
keeping pace with the dance
we did in our last moments at home
surrounded by luggage

Things I wish for

My Dear,

Today is one of those days when I wish I were a superhero, a poet, a painter and a singer. You might ask why would I want all those things. I can assure you I am not pursuing fame. Today I wish I could write the most beautiful poems for you and draw my thoughts of you. I wish my words and my doodles where good enough to make you justice.

Today I wish I were a superhero and tender a  flight to your sight at the speed of light.

Things I remember when I can't sleep ...

It is late and I can't sleep and my mind wanders about. I think of all the stories I have told you about me that no one else know about. I think of all the stories I haven't told you and I would love to.


I should warn you though that my stories are far from being worth the paper but just the feeling of wanting to share them with you makes them important. I don't have fancy stories or long, engaging narratives. I have little things and anecdotes full of sentiments that become alive with the thought of you.


I have the story of this bumblebee that arrives to the same flower every morning when I am walking. It's like I am witnessing a spring affair, a lover visiting the object of his affection. It happens every morning. He comes by almost in a hurry fearing he is late for his date. There is a tiny pause almost like a greeting gesture before he reaches the flower. Same flower every morning.


This is my story of the bumblebee.


This is my story of how you are present at every moment and make the insignificant details of my life so worth remembering.

Don't be surprised by my paper boats

I once read a poem by a famous Chinese poet called Bing Xin. She wrote a poem about how she would make every scrap of paper into a boat hoping it would carry her love to her late mother. I am lucky in a way that I still have my mom with me and all I have to do to reach her is by phone.

I was making paper boats today and all I was trying to reach is you. I am also lucky that I can reach you by phone, mi amor, but I can understand now for the first time that sometimes only physical reminders can carry the history of the relationship. The Chinese author wrote that poem in remembrance of her mom who liked making them. You and I have accumulated our own versions of paper boats. It can be as simple as the way I make my bed now because of you.  It can be as elaborate as you and I fixing a house too big for two women to tackle. I can touch an doorknob and know that you have been there.  And if I am lucky, I will make my bed one day and find your scent on my pillow, and I am transported to you.


---

Reference on Chinese Poet:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bing_Xin

Not even chocolate!

My darling,

As I was walking this morning heading to my daily duties I thought of you. Each step evoked a memory of you, a smile, a look, a touch or just an acomplice glance that only you know. I remembered having a coffee with you one time at that little cafe when I touched your hand by accident. I was smile while I walked all by myself and if someone would have seen me they would think how weird I looked.

As I was walking this morning and thought of you I reflected on those other things that are comparable to being with you.

As I was walking this morning and thought of you, I realized that not even chocolate compares to you.

Pink and Brown

Amor, you have freckles!

I notice them now and then
they are on your face
like soft light
through a lace

I notice them more
my love
the way your lashes sweep low
and you blush
all the way down to your smile

Amor, I love the way your
cheeks reward my kiss

Virtually...no distance!

Mi amor, in our effort to wait for the 2000 plus miles (3200+ kilometers) to disappear, we can establish this homestead where we shall meet.

It is our little place, our little space in this corner, blessed with love and sentiment and uncluttered by a real life space one would need to rent, buy, own, pay insurance, utilities and stock up with cheese.

This is a place where I can frame all the reasons why I love you and put them up on a wall without making the house look tacky. Here is my first post:

We were able to spend one blessed day together yesterday.  It was real and it was short.  At one point, we had to cross a street and our fingers entwined.  In the safety of your lead I was able to admire your face.  You were looking past me and you looked fierce, and I thought, at first it was towards the honking traffic.  I was almost entirely wrong.  You saw the day was pulling the shadow long-wards to the hills.  You were protecting me not from cars but from time slipping through our fingers.  And I just happened to catch you at your moment of chivalry.