I lived near a seaport when I was little.  My uncle took me on a stroll to where cruise ships would depart.  We had missed the big cruise ship leaving the harbor that afternoon but it was a nice walk for us anyway.  I spied near the docks a tiny plastic robin egg blue container.  Delighted, I immediately picked it up and asked my uncle what it was.  He told me it was a thingy that held a long roll of confetti like paper in which a cruise ship passenger would toss it to someone on the dock saying goodbye.  The person on the dock then would hold on to it till the ship moved away and the confetti snapped.  And the more athletically inclined wavers, goodbyers, tearful left-behinders may do a little run to stay in pace with the cruise ship as long as there was land under their feet to keep the confetti tether from snapping.

Amor,

We have to see each other go often
We have to keep up our visual tether at the airport
Then you are in line
Then you are out of sight and back again
Then I see a hand reaching up to some impossible height
I knew it was you
till it is not

at all humanly possible we keep in touch
while you are behind some barriers
patrolled by uniforms
grim and polite
till my electronic robin egg blue signal snaps

In that in between space
where you are in reachless hours
my heart is the athlete
keeping pace with the dance
we did in our last moments at home
surrounded by luggage

Things I wish for

My Dear,

Today is one of those days when I wish I were a superhero, a poet, a painter and a singer. You might ask why would I want all those things. I can assure you I am not pursuing fame. Today I wish I could write the most beautiful poems for you and draw my thoughts of you. I wish my words and my doodles where good enough to make you justice.

Today I wish I were a superhero and tender a  flight to your sight at the speed of light.

Things I remember when I can't sleep ...

It is late and I can't sleep and my mind wanders about. I think of all the stories I have told you about me that no one else know about. I think of all the stories I haven't told you and I would love to.


I should warn you though that my stories are far from being worth the paper but just the feeling of wanting to share them with you makes them important. I don't have fancy stories or long, engaging narratives. I have little things and anecdotes full of sentiments that become alive with the thought of you.


I have the story of this bumblebee that arrives to the same flower every morning when I am walking. It's like I am witnessing a spring affair, a lover visiting the object of his affection. It happens every morning. He comes by almost in a hurry fearing he is late for his date. There is a tiny pause almost like a greeting gesture before he reaches the flower. Same flower every morning.


This is my story of the bumblebee.


This is my story of how you are present at every moment and make the insignificant details of my life so worth remembering.

Don't be surprised by my paper boats

I once read a poem by a famous Chinese poet called Bing Xin. She wrote a poem about how she would make every scrap of paper into a boat hoping it would carry her love to her late mother. I am lucky in a way that I still have my mom with me and all I have to do to reach her is by phone.

I was making paper boats today and all I was trying to reach is you. I am also lucky that I can reach you by phone, mi amor, but I can understand now for the first time that sometimes only physical reminders can carry the history of the relationship. The Chinese author wrote that poem in remembrance of her mom who liked making them. You and I have accumulated our own versions of paper boats. It can be as simple as the way I make my bed now because of you.  It can be as elaborate as you and I fixing a house too big for two women to tackle. I can touch an doorknob and know that you have been there.  And if I am lucky, I will make my bed one day and find your scent on my pillow, and I am transported to you.


---

Reference on Chinese Poet:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bing_Xin

Not even chocolate!

My darling,

As I was walking this morning heading to my daily duties I thought of you. Each step evoked a memory of you, a smile, a look, a touch or just an acomplice glance that only you know. I remembered having a coffee with you one time at that little cafe when I touched your hand by accident. I was smile while I walked all by myself and if someone would have seen me they would think how weird I looked.

As I was walking this morning and thought of you I reflected on those other things that are comparable to being with you.

As I was walking this morning and thought of you, I realized that not even chocolate compares to you.

Pink and Brown

Amor, you have freckles!

I notice them now and then
they are on your face
like soft light
through a lace

I notice them more
my love
the way your lashes sweep low
and you blush
all the way down to your smile

Amor, I love the way your
cheeks reward my kiss

Virtually...no distance!

Mi amor, in our effort to wait for the 2000 plus miles (3200+ kilometers) to disappear, we can establish this homestead where we shall meet.

It is our little place, our little space in this corner, blessed with love and sentiment and uncluttered by a real life space one would need to rent, buy, own, pay insurance, utilities and stock up with cheese.

This is a place where I can frame all the reasons why I love you and put them up on a wall without making the house look tacky. Here is my first post:

We were able to spend one blessed day together yesterday.  It was real and it was short.  At one point, we had to cross a street and our fingers entwined.  In the safety of your lead I was able to admire your face.  You were looking past me and you looked fierce, and I thought, at first it was towards the honking traffic.  I was almost entirely wrong.  You saw the day was pulling the shadow long-wards to the hills.  You were protecting me not from cars but from time slipping through our fingers.  And I just happened to catch you at your moment of chivalry.